There she was again, that familiar voice with a bite, snarling, “Get your act together, Bronwyn.” I heard it loud and clear earlier this week—right in the middle of a yoga class, where I was supposed to be in a peaceful, Zen state of mind. But peace was far from where I was. Instead, I found myself tangled in frustration, that harsh voice echoing in my mind.
But this time, something shifted. Rather than being swept away by her, I noticed her right away. And instead of pushing her away in anger, I got curious. I tried something new—befriending her. “Let’s go for a walk, little one,” I whispered within.
We walked together—in nature, of course—and I began to listen. I slowed down enough to understand her rather than shove her aside. As I listened, I realized this voice wasn’t just some abstract critic. She was the 11-year-old me, the one who felt disappointed when I didn’t hit my personal best in the pool or when I got a less-than-perfect grade. She was also the voice of my mother, who could be tough, mean and demanding. This inner whip-cracker had been created to push me, to accomplish, to seek approval. And as harsh as she sounded, I realized she was coming from a place of love, just expressed in a way that wasn’t serving me anymore.
On that walk, I began to understand her. Her motivations were pure—she truly wanted the best for me—but her methods were outdated. I shared with her that there was a more compassionate, more effective way to motivate me, one that didn’t have to be so harsh. We began to form a new relationship, one rooted in alignment and support rather than force.
Something else became clear during this inner dialogue. The two cocktails I had the night before weren’t helping. I realized that alcohol, even in small amounts, was amplifying my “mean girl” thoughts. It lowers inhibitions and distorts judgment, making it easier for negative self-talk to spiral. For someone prone to this inner critic, it can turn the volume way up on those harsh thoughts and emotions.
I’m sharing this experience as food for thought. There are two key insights I’ve discovered: first, we all have an inner voice, often a younger version of ourselves, that just needs understanding and compassion. Second, alcohol might be playing a bigger role in how we experience and express those thoughts.
For now, I’m pressing pause on alcohol to see how it impacts my relationship with the “mean girl” inside. It’s an experiment. I’ll report back in the coming months with the results. My hope is that she evolves, dissolves old patterns, and transforms into a partner who encourages and motivates from a place of love and kindness. Simply writing this, I can already feel the shift in her tone, and my higher self is nodding in agreement—YES! This journey feels like a deepening, and I will share where it leads.
Staying curious about these inner voices is key. Let me know what your inner voices are saying; trust me, they do have an influence (see the article on Influence HERE)
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