Less Ego Polish, More Presence

Are You Part of the Problem… or the Solution?

This one might sting a little.

Because here’s the truth: most of us like to believe we’re on the “solution” side of the equation.We pride ourselves on being calm, insightful, helpful, and evolved.But I invite you to really pause and ask:

Are you absolutely sure?

Let’s walk through a simple example.

You’re in a meeting. Joe Schmoe keeps interrupting, pushing his agenda, dominating the space. Frustration rises in your chest. You silently fume. Maybe you cross your arms, roll your eyes, check your phone, or completely check out.And now… You have become part of the problem.

Your energy has shifted the room.Your reaction—though understandable—has created disconnection.And maybe, just maybe, you’re now polishing your ego with a smug little cloth that whispers, “Ugh, Joe… he’s so unaware. I would never do that.”

But awareness doesn’t look like silent judgment.

It looks like self-responsibility.

Personal Mirror Moment

Let me be honest. One of my greatest spiritual teachers? My sister. (Yes, really.)

She triggers the heck out of me—which, of course, is Clue #1.

Ever since I took over our mother’s care, she’s often telling me what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Recently, she suggested I get Mom a dog. I snapped back, defending how unreasonable that is for someone with advanced Alzheimer’s. And in my mind, I was thinking, “That is the dumbest idea ever!!” I painted her as controlling, clueless, and stuck in old family dynamics. (HELLO pedestal. HELLO ego polish.)

But when I stepped back and softened… I could see something truer.She wasn’t trying to control me. She was trying to help Mom in the only way she knew how.

So I breathed. I paused. I invited her to visit and decide for herself what’s possible

I took responsibility for the energy I was bringing.

Not easy.But deeply freeing.

The Mirror Never Lies

Here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way):

Every relationship is a mirror.

If you’re feeling triggered, annoyed, dismissed, or judged, it’s often pointing to something within you that’s asking to be seen.

It’s not about blame or shame.

It’s about radical honesty.

Where am I contributing to the very thing I’m resenting?

Most of us have been taught to look outward—blaming, fixing, criticizing.But real growth? It happens when we turn inward and start asking better questions.

Like:

• Am I truly helping, or just going through the motions?

• Is my reaction creating a connection or a disconnection?

• Am I judging… or listening?

• Am I polishing my ego… or telling the truth?

You can’t control Joe.

Or your sister.

Or anyone else, really.

But you can choose the energy you bring to the room. (above the line)You can decide whether you’ll meet pressure with presence.

You can be part of the solution—but only when you’re willing to own your part in the problem.

With love,