Weakness to Wisdom – Part 2: When Judgment Hits Close to Home

Judgment from others can show up in so many areas of our lives — at work, in our families (which can be the most painful), among friends, with neighbors, and even strangers on the internet.

It’s something I’ve been reflecting on deeply lately, especially as I navigate a personal experience where I feel misunderstood by people who are supposed to know me best.

I used to think I had to work harder to be understood… to explain myself better, be more patient, “take the high road,” and try to avoid triggering anyone else's discomfort. I shaped myself around other people’s expectations — often unconsciously — just to avoid their disapproval or disconnection. Especially when it came to my family. Keeping the peace was my default setting.

But here’s the truth: you can live with deep integrity, act from love, follow your inner wisdom — and still be judged.

And that is hard.

What makes it even harder is that when we’re judged by someone close, it can stir up our old wounds. Our nervous system flares. We feel like a little kid again — trying to explain, trying to fix, trying not to be “too much” or “too sensitive” or “too whatever” they accuse us of being.

What I’ve been learning — and relearning — is this:

Judgment from others is not always a reflection of who you are… it’s often a mirror of their discomfort.

That doesn’t mean we don’t ever take feedback seriously. But it does mean we can pause and ask:

Is this truth or is this a projection?

Is this about me — or about what’s unhealed in them?

And then we get to choose.

We can respond with grace or with boundaries.

We can clarify, or stay silent.

We can decide not to contort ourselves into versions of “acceptable” just to keep other people comfortable.

A Practice That Helped Me Recently:

When I felt the sting of judgment from someone I love, I placed one hand on my heart, one on my belly, and I whispered:“I know who I am. I trust my heart. And I’m safe to be fully me.”

It doesn’t make the pain go away instantly — but it brings me back to my center.

And when I come back to that place of grounded truth, I remember:

I am not here to be perfect.

I am not here to make everyone like me

I am here to live my truth, with compassion and courage.