New Tool for Navigating Family Dynamics

The holidays are not always easy. For many — myself included — they stir up more than just joy and lights.

The holidays can be… a lot. Let’s be honest — family dynamics can bring out our deepest old patterns. And I’m no exception.

As we gather around tables and traditions, it’s easy for the pressure to perform, show up, host, and do-it-all… can weigh heavily. And for many of us, family dynamics intensify. We unconsciously slip into old roles within our family system, falling into patterns shaped decades ago. Like a fish that doesn’t know it’s swimming in water, these grooves feel familiar — even if they’re uncomfortable. They’re not chosen — they’re automatic. They’re neural pathways, deep and old, reinforced over years of interaction.

For me, as the youngest of three and the smallest (literally, just 5’1”), I still often get treated like the “little sister.” I’m told what to do, how to do it — as if I’m not capable. And even though I’ve grown into a powerful, intuitive, grounded woman and coach… that dynamic can still trigger the self-doubt of my six-year-old self. It happened again this Thanksgiving, during a deeply emotional family moment — discussing the tender transition of putting my mom in hospice.

Even with all the tools I teach, the old pattern still showed up. I could feel it happening: the looping thoughts, the internal defensiveness, the weight of an old story pulling me out of alignment. So, I did what I often do when I need to move energy: I went for a trail run. Nature is my healer, my recalibration space.

But this time, the internal noise wouldn’t stop. The conversation in my head was spinning, exhausting — and I knew it wasn’t even real. I was below the line. I could feel it. The energy was coming from fear, frustration, and powerlessness — not from consciousness or choice.

So, I paused. I remembered what I teach. And I used a reframing tool I call the “Track Jumper.”

The Track Jumper Reframe Practice

1. Awareness. I noticed the looping thought. I called it out. This is step one. You can’t change what you can’t see.

2. Interrupt. I said inside, three times: Jump Track. Jump Track. Jump Track. It was my way of telling my brain: “Get off this highway. This road is grooved in pain from childhood. Let’s take a different path.”

3. Envision the Ideal. I asked: What do I want from this moment? What would the ideal outcome look like? And I imagined it: calm, agreement, kindness, the shared love we all have for Mom.

4. Did it take practice? Yes. Did I fall back into the groove again? Also yes. But I caught it faster the next time. This is what it means to lead yourself — to take responsibility for your internal state. My siblings weren’t creating my suffering. I was. That’s where the power lives.

I also reached out to my people. Thank you, Zan, Amy, and my husband, David, for lovingly holding up the mirror and helping me see what I couldn’t see alone. We need each other to stay conscious. We need each other to stay aligned.

Below the Line Energy is Contagious

That anxious, swirling, performative energy that fills the air during the holidays? That’s below the line. It’s not coming from the truth. It’s not grounded in authenticity. And people can feel it — even if they can’t name it. Energy doesn’t lie. Frequency is felt. And in a world that is craving realness, people are drawn to authenticity like breath to lungs.

So I invite you, lovingly — To pause.To check in.To choose how you want to show up this season.

💛 A Final Word

You are not powerless. 

You are not trapped in old stories. 

You are evolving — and each moment of awareness is an opportunity to lead from a higher place.

Pause. Breathe. Reflect.

And choose to be the leader of your inner world.

With warmth,