Weakness to Wisdom

Part 3 of 4 - Perfectionism & the messy truth

Let’s go straight to the heart of it: perfectionism is a trap. We all know it’s unattainable — and yet, we keep striving for it. To be better. Best. Flawless. On point. Pulled together.

But perfect doesn’t exist. And trying to get there is like chasing a mirage across the desert — exhausting, disorienting, and ultimately disappointing.

And yet… here we are.

Let me name a few ways it shows up for me — even now, even after years of inner work.

Real Talk from My Life

Writing — yep, even this very moment as my fingers hit the keyboard. There’s a part of me that wants this to be so good that you’ll love it, share it, and say, “Wow, she’s brilliant.” (Thanks, spellcheck, for at least helping with the spelling part.)

My house — oh yes. The bed gets made first thing. Every morning.

 But recently I paused and thought: For who?

No one goes into that room but me during the day… and yet there I am fluffing the pillows and smoothing the blanket like the Queen is coming over.

My appearance — while I’ve become more relaxed about makeup and hair, I still like to look “put together.” Sometimes I find myself standing in my closet agonizing over what to wear… just to sit at my desk alone all day- Anyone else?

What is perfectionism, really?

Even the dictionary agrees it’s unreachable:

Perfection: A state of being free from all flaws or defects. An ideal that exists more in theory than in practice.

It’s an illusion — a mirage shaped by our upbringing, society, marketing, and old fears that whisper, “You’re not enough… unless.”

And let’s be honest: this pressure is absurd.

We’re not meant to be flawless. We’re meant to be fully human — creative, messy, magnificent, complex. Beautifully inconsistent. Learning and unlearning.

I Give You Permission…

To let the email typo go.

To show up to Zoom in bunny slippers and no makeup.

To leave the dishes in the sink.

To stop apologizing for not being “perfect.” (drop of Sorry)

I give you permission to be real.

The truth is: we’ve been sold a lie.

A culture obsessed with perfection sells us solutions to insecurities we never had — until someone told us we should. Magazines, social media, supplements (yes, I take 10+ a day), shapewear (I love you, Sara Blakely, but still) — it’s all selling the same message: Fix yourself. 

No more.

I could write a whole book on this (and maybe I will), but for now, I’ll leave you with this:

Come home to your wild, wise, imperfect self. 

That’s where the freedom is. 

That’s where your power lives. 

That’s where life gets real — and really good.

You have my full permission!