Weakness to Wisdom

Feb 12
2 min read

Part 4 of 4 - Let Them Feel What They Feel

I grew up in a home where anger was the dominant energy in the room.

A mother navigating bipolar disorder. Parents constantly at odds.

A rebellious sister, a brother who stirred the pot.

And me—a sensitive little girl doing everything in my power to stay safe.

Anger wasn’t just uncomfortable. It was terrifying. It was loud. Explosive. Unpredictable.

I didn’t know what to do with it. So, I tried everything:

Hiding in my closet, believing the door was a magic shield.
Fleeing into the woods to disappear into stillness.
Playing small. Being good. Staying quiet.
Distracting from the chaos with perfect school projects or forced smiles.

I couldn’t let them be angry because I had no tools to protect my peace.

Their pain became mine.

Their rage, my fear.

I thought if they’re not okay, I’m not okay.

And that belief followed me for decades.

The Wisdom in the Wound

Today, I’m still unraveling that story.

But the difference is—I see it. I feel it when it shows up.

I recognize the little girl inside me who wants to run, hide, or fawn.

And now?

I pause. I breathe. I remind myself: “It’s not mine.”

Not all energy that enters your space belongs to you. Not every emotion aimed in your direction is your responsibility. Let them feel what they need to feel—without making it yours.

Real Talk: Let Them (And You) Be

Recently, I was in a tense conversation with my sister, and I felt myself slipping—starting to contract and take it on.

My coach gently said, “You can’t change the stripes of a tiger. So stop trying.”

Oof. It hit. Hard. And it was true.

Let them.

Let your sister stew.

Let the colleague snap.

Let the stranger be rude.

Let the person online project.

Let the world swirl.

You don’t have to go with it.

The image I hold now is that of a matador.

Gracefully letting the bull charge through the red cape—not resisting, not absorbing, just letting it pass.

No impact. No engagement. Just presence.

A Practice for Us

Try this simple mantra from one of my favorite teachers:

Lee Harris

“I release any energies and emotions that are not mine.” (Say it. Breathe it. Mean it.)

Sometimes it takes seconds or hours or days.

But eventually, I choose to let it go.

Because my peace is mine to protect and I have the ability to respond—not react. What once felt like weakness—being “too sensitive”—has now become my greatest wisdom.

You don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to change them.

You don’t even have to understand it.

You just have to return home to you.

You are powerful beyond measure.

You just forgot.

I’m here to remind you and me!

With love,