The quiet of the trail was just what I needed.
Looking back, I realized I was in total sensory overload before I left. I was pushing through signs my body was giving me - that familiar feeling of a pit in my stomach, sleepless nights stressing over things I can't even remember now, worried thoughts keeping me from getting into action- all just because I felt so overburdened by the endless demands of work/life and trying to show up as what I Should be. (I know you all can relate ...).
But, as a "good soldier" - a good mom, business owner, partner, etc. - I pushed through to "do it all." Instead of slowing down, I got busier. I ignored the signs my body was telling me ... again and again.
And the cherry on the cake - my 88-year-old mom, whom I've had a complicated relationship with, as I've shared here before, was becoming increasingly demented and could no longer live alone. My sister had been her primary caregiver for the past ten years and was exhausted and burnt out—and honestly, a little bitter. The stress of what I "should" do mounting and mounting - making it harder to listen to what my body & soul truly needed to show up for these mounting demands on my time and priorities.
All of this weighed me down more each day, putting me into sensory overload - but there was still one thing pushing me forward - The Colorado Trail—the commitment I had made to getting out there - just me and the Wild.
As someone programmed to be a people pleaser - it might sound crazy to make time alone on the trail (and by time, I mean weeks!!), and I had my fair share of self-doubt about this choice. But when I took the time to get really quiet and listen to myself - I knew without a doubt it was not a selfish choice. I knew that ignoring this call to get in the wild would only make me less able to handle all of the challenges life was handing me.
Showing up for my Self was the only way I was going to get through ...
A couple of days into my adventure, I finally settled into the silence of the wilderness. I could feel my body calming, the pit in my stomach subsided - I was breathing again. The ground under my feet was soft and exactly what was needed. My mind cleared so new ideas could emerge.
This flow state of listening to your heart and letting it guide you - it's not magic; it's Truth.
What I love about nature most is that there is only truth. Nature doesn’t lie, hide, or pretend to be something it is not. It's raw, and quite frankly, it is what it is. It's endlessly refreshing being able to simply witness the beauty and creativity of a gnarled tree trunk, the healing gentleness of a swarm of black butterflies, and the evidence of animal survival and decay showing us the raw truth of the life cycle.
Nature is Truth.
Truth is pure Love.
So, where are these places that we can tune in and be more in our Truth? Where we can show up as our most authentic Self - nothing more, nothing less. This is the purest self-care. This is our Truth.
We all have parts of who we are showing up as that are misaligned with our Truth.
I have the part that doesn’t feel like I’m good enough to be a coach to serve others, to write the book that has been calling me for years (but I'm going to do it - stay tuned!), or to hike the Colorado Trail alone. I fear judgment and failure (like I know we all do ...).
I can hear my inner critic nagging me now - "What will people think when I share my self-doubts?" I worry about being judged because I’m judging myself and not loving myself when I’m doing it. But I’m choosing Truth today. I'm committing to being raw and honest because I know this is what we all need.
Since my hiking journey, I've been practicing where I found solace on the trail. I’ve been making time to continue my inner journey, even though I've returned to everyday life demands. I have been doing practices, affirmations, and lots of writing - all practices which I will share with my next Advanced Leadership Group (message me if you want to join/ hear more)!
The result of doing this daily, deep work - is amazing. More confidence, joy, peace, healing, and releasing the lies I tell myself to hold myself back from my Truth. It's a journey that I couldn't leave back on the trail. And it's a journey that doesn't end with a coaching certification or becoming a "teacher" of these tools. It's work we must do daily - to always go deeper. Work that never ends but continues to make life sweeter and sweeter with every passing day.
I intend to inspire just one person to lay down the cloak we wear and start showing up as their True Self. So, tell me - what are you hiding? (And, even better, what do you think you will find when you stop hiding?!)
PM me and Let's talk... I have been there but there is a new way....
It's time, and today is the day to OWN YOUR JOURNEY and lean into your purpose and dreams.
... this group will give you the courage to follow your heart's yearning and commitment to make it happen while having FUN with other like-minded Bad Ass women!
A 7-month group program for some BADASS women looking to embrace
their brilliance and reach their peak.
If you feel called to up-level how you work and lead, drop me a pm, and let's talk