Are You Bringing Light Into the Space?

While I was in Vermont on a family vacation last week, I noticed something subtle about my daughter Mo. It was something that had probably always been there, but for whatever reason, this time I was acutely aware of it.

She brings light into a space. A little silliness sometimes too.

Mo being silly on our family vacation

It's difficult to describe because it isn't something tangible. It's not necessarily what she says or does. It's her energy. There is a lightness and warmth she brings with her, and I found myself simply enjoying being in her presence and watching how that energy impacted everyone around her.

It got me thinking about something we rarely consider. We practice all sorts of things in our lives. We practice to become better writers, athletes, employees, leaders, parents, speakers, or musicians. We practice skills we can measure and improve. But how often do we practice the energy we bring into a room?

Energy may not be tangible, but it is absolutely experienced. We all know the person who walks into a room and somehow makes it feel lighter. We also know what it feels like when someone enters carrying anger, tension, judgment, or heaviness. They don't even have to say a word. We feel it.

So this morning on my usual running route, I decided to practice bringing a little more light and see what happened.

As I passed a woman walking toward me, I noticed her shirt. It had soft white flowers against a forest-green background, and I immediately thought how cute it was. Normally, I probably would have kept that thought to myself and continued running. But I remembered my little experiment and called out, "Cute shirt!"

"Thank you!" she called back, and I could hear the smile in her voice. Such a tiny interaction, but I felt it too.

A little farther down the trail, I passed a couple whose adorable dog had completely flopped onto a patch of grass, belly down, trying to cool off under the blazing summer sun. Sweat was sliding down my own back, so as I ran by, I called out, "Boy, do I understand how he feels!"

I heard them laugh behind me. It worked again. Nothing earth-shattering happened. I didn't change anyone's life. I simply started saying the good things out loud instead of keeping them in my head. I became more intentional about the energy I was contributing to the people and spaces around me, and interestingly, it changed my energy too.

This is such a simple Energy Leadership practice. We are influencing one another all day long, often without realizing it. Our facial expressions, tone, words, attention, body language, and presence all carry energy. We don't have to wait until we're leading a meeting or having an important conversation to become conscious of it. We can practice in the grocery store, on a trail, in an elevator, around the dinner table, or with the person standing next to us in line.

Of course, there are days when I don't feel particularly light myself. There are moments when my below-the-line energy shows up quickly. Seeing someone litter on a trail is a perfect example. My immediate reaction can be judgment and righteousness. I want to tell them exactly what I think about leaving their trash in this beautiful place, and I can feel my energy change almost instantly.

That is part of the practice too.  Asking what kind of energy we want to project out into the world. 

Bringing light doesn't mean pretending we're happy when we're not, ignoring something we believe is wrong, or becoming artificially positive. It means becoming conscious of what is happening inside us before we send that energy out into the world. I can notice my irritation about the litter, honor that caring for the Earth matters deeply to me, pick up the trash if I can, and choose not to add more anger to the moment.

That is the choice we have, over and over again.

Mo reminded me that bringing light into a space doesn't have to be grand. Sometimes it's a smile, a compliment, a laugh, a kind word, or simply the quality of our presence. These tiny exchanges may seem insignificant, but energy travels. What we bring affects the person in front of us, and then perhaps what they bring to the next person.

So I've decided I'm going to practice this one.

Say the good things out loud.

Notice the beautiful shirt and tell her. Appreciate someone's kindness and say it. Think something loving about your partner and don't keep it inside. Make the stranger on the trail laugh.

We spend so much of our lives practicing what we want to do better. Maybe it's time we also practice who we want to be when we enter a space.

Today, notice the energy you're carrying with you.

Then practice bringing a little more light.

With heart,