The Night I Cried at the Awards Banquet
- Jul 2
- 3 min read
…What do we do with emotions at work?
Emotions are data. Reactions are optional.
A few weeks ago, I watched a short clip from the movie Inside Out. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. The entire premise is that our emotions are not problems to solve or get rid of; they are messengers. They each have a purpose and a role to play in our lives.
Yet somewhere along the way, many of us learned a very different lesson.
Especially at work.
We are emotional beings, but the workplace often treats emotions as inconvenient, unprofessional, or something to be hidden. If someone gets emotional, they are labeled as weak, dramatic, unstable, angry, sensitive, or "a hot mess."
The message is clear: keep your feelings to yourself, push through, be professional, and hold it together. But the problem is that emotions don’t disappear simply because we ignore them. They go underground, and what goes underground eventually resurfaces as stress, resentment, burnout, conflict, disengagement, and even illness.
The energy doesn't disappear. It simply changes form.
Many years ago, I learned this lesson firsthand.
At the time, I was job-sharing with one of my dearest friends and partners-in-crime. We had both recently given birth to our third babies and had created what felt like the perfect arrangement. We each worked three days a week, which meant the company received six days' worth of work. We were seamless partners and knew each other so well that we could practically read each other's minds.
We were also incredibly driven.
One year, the President's Club trip was to Italy. We wanted it. We worked our asses off all year and poured everything we had into reaching that goal.
By the night of the awards banquet, we were convinced we had earned it.
Honestly, I think we had already mentally packed our bags.
Then the winners were announced.
And our names were not called.
The disappointment hit me instantly.
Tears welled up before I could stop them. My chest tightened. My throat closed. I could feel the emotion rising faster than I could contain it.
I stood up and walked out of the room. I wasn’t angry or trying to make a statement—I was simply disappointed. But in that moment, something deeper surfaced. An old story came rushing in—the story of being the sensitive kid, the crybaby, the one who was told she was too emotional. Suddenly, the disappointment was layered with shame. I felt embarrassed for having feelings, embarrassed for being seen, and embarrassed for not being able to hold it together. And that’s where I learned what so many of us learn: feelings are not welcome here. So we push them down, bulldoze over them, pretend we’re fine—and then wonder why we feel so exhausted.
Today, after years of mindfulness practice, coaching, and Energy Leadership work, I see it differently.
The goal is not to eliminate emotions, nor is it to express every feeling impulsively; the solution is awareness. When emotions arise, can we notice them, pause, and allow them to be present without letting them hijack us? Can we feel disappointment without becoming a victim, feel anger without attacking someone, and feel fear without shutting down?
This is where emotional intelligence and Energy Leadership intersect.
In the Energy Leadership framework, emotions themselves are not the problem. The question is whether we become unconsciously trapped in them.
Below-the-line energy often looks like blame, resistance, anger, fear, guilt, or helplessness.
When we are unconsciously operating there, our emotions run the show.
Above-the-line energy doesn't mean we stop feeling.
It means we become aware of what we're feeling and take responsibility for it. We get curious about it, and then we choose how we want to respond. Leadership is not the absence of emotion; it's the ability to stay conscious in the presence of emotion.
We want a workplace where people suppress their humanity; we want workplaces where people learn how to work skillfully with their humanity. Where emotions are acknowledged without becoming weapons and where vulnerability is respected rather than judged.
Where people can say, "I'm disappointed," "I'm frustrated," or "I'm scared," without feeling weak because it is our truth!
I would love to hear your story of emotion at work! Please share
With heart,
P.S. If you're interested in a beautiful perspective on emotions and one that many of us deal with, “Anxiety”- watch this short clip from Inside Out. It captures something many adults forget: every emotion has wisdom to offer if we are willing to listen:
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