What Are You For?

“When we focus on what we’re against, we strengthen division. When we focus on what we’re for, we strengthen possibility.”

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of rumblings. This week alone, I have had multiple friends visibly shaken and upset about the state of the world. I understand, it makes sense. People are upset. There seems to be a growing divide, and it shows up everywhere—in conversations with friends, around dinner tables, on social media, in the workplace, and even within families. It has become the familiar pattern of us versus them, right versus wrong, my opinion versus yours.

In many ways, it’s simply human nature. We all have values. We all have experiences that have shaped how we see the world. We each carry our own lens, and naturally someone else’s lens will be different from ours.

What I’m noticing, though, is that these differences in perspective are creating a deeper chasm between us. Instead of becoming curious about another person’s experience, we become more attached to defending our own. We become committed to being right instead of understanding.

One of the greatest insights I have learned through Energy Leadership is that our perspective shapes everything. We don’t experience life exactly as it is; we experience life through the lens we’ve created over years of conditioning, beliefs, assumptions, and past experiences. Two people can witness the same event and walk away with completely different stories because they are looking through different filters.

That perspective matters because it determines the energy we bring to every situation.

When we are operating below the line, our perspective is often rooted in fear. Fear doesn’t always look like panic. It can show up as judgment, blame, frustration, resentment, defensiveness, or the need to prove that our way is the right way. From that place, our attention naturally shifts toward what we’re against.

Above-the-line energy offers a different perspective. Instead of asking, What am I against? 

We begin asking, What am I for?

That simple shift changes everything.

Here’s a small example.

One of the things I’m deeply for is caring for this beautiful planet. Like many of you, I cringe when I see trash scattered along a hiking trail. Every time I come across a plastic bottle, a candy wrapper, or a discarded bag, I have a choice. I can spend my energy feeling angry about the person who left it there, or I can remember what I’m actually for.

I’m for leaving the Earth a little better than I found it.

So I bend down, pick up the trash, and carry it out. Sometimes I finish a hike with my pockets full of things that don’t belong to me. Not because I’m trying to make a statement, and certainly not because I’m judging the person who dropped them. I do it because that’s the energy I want to contribute.

My focus shifts from blame to contribution, and that is a completely different frequency.

The same principle applies in our relationships, our workplaces, and our communities. When we focus on what we’re against, we often create more distance, more arguments, and more division. When we focus on what we’re for, we naturally begin looking for solutions, collaboration, and ways to contribute.

The circumstances around us may not change overnight. Our perspective does, and when our perspective shifts, so does our energy.

I know deeply that energy is contagious. The energy we bring into a conversation often determines the conversation we have. If I show up defensively, I’ll likely receive defensiveness in return. If I show up curious, open, and grounded, I’ve created the possibility for something entirely different. Do I want to spend my energy fighting? Or do I want to stand peacefully in what I know to be true for me? More and more, I choose the latter. When I know something in my bones, I don’t feel the need to convince another person. My truth doesn’t become more true because someone agrees with it.

This doesn’t mean we stop caring deeply or abandon our values. Quite the opposite. It means we stand firmly for what we believe while remembering that another human being is standing across from us with their own story, their own conditioning, and their own perspective.

Perhaps the invitation isn’t to convince one another. Perhaps it’s to understand one another a little more deeply.

So today, before reacting, pause for just a moment and ask yourself:

What am I for?

Then let that answer shape the energy you choose to bring into the world.

With heart,