What if we could welcome disappointment the way we wrap ourselves in a warm, familiar blanket—rather than letting it hit us like a heavy, wet one, dragging us down? I’ve been sitting with this thought lately as I navigate my waves of disappointment—ones that feel so consuming, they could swallow me whole, like a python tightening its grip. But when I step back, I see what’s really happening: I’m resisting reality. I’m fighting what is. And in that struggle, I forget the most essential truth—life is in charge. And, even more importantly, I fail to trust her.
Here’s a raw and real example:
Over the past eight years, I’ve hosted 27 groups and retreats. By my own measure of success, they were “full.” They reached the number I had arbitrarily set, and in my mind, that meant they were valuable. People saw the worth in the experience, and if I’m being completely honest, they saw worth in me. So, when I launched a new program in 2024 and didn’t receive the response I expected, I took it personally. I made it about me. And let me tell you, I went down a dark, twisty rabbit hole of disappointment. My mind spun a painful story—one where I was a failure, where I had lost my touch, where I was no longer relevant or valuable.
My ego whispered: “You didn’t get what you wanted. You must have done something wrong.”
But life had other plans.
The lesson life handed me—one I resisted with everything in me—was humility. I didn’t want humility. I wanted things to go my way. I had a clear vision of what should happen, and when it didn’t unfold as expected, I found myself channeling Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, stomping my foot in frustration. And we all know how that turned out for her.
But here’s the thing—
What if disappointment is the magic?
What if, instead of fighting what’s happening, we allowed ourselves to lean in? What if we stopped trying to control, stopped grasping, and simply received the lesson? That shift in perspective—not the external circumstances—is where the transformation happens.
I got a fresh dose of this lesson in a yoga class the other day. The teacher was talking about the Super Bowl and how he was actually glad the Chiefs lost (sorry, Kansas fans—stay with me here). He said they needed that disappointment. They needed to be humbled so they could reignite their fire.
Life doesn’t play favorites. We all face disappointment. But the meaning we assign to it—that’s where the power lies. Because, in truth, it doesn’t say anything about our worth.
So, I’d love to hear from you. What disappointments are you moving through right now? Message me and share—because we’re all in this together.
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